I used to wake up at 5 am for a lot of things.
To compete in my sport. To listen to bird song. To dance in the sunrise. To watch wildlife. To tend to a baby. To go on a protest march.
When I was drinking I woke up at 5 am
To have a wee. To lie in bed sweating. To wake up and feel ashamed and worried and ill and not be able to get back to sleep. To check my computer and phone and try to undo the damage of drunk social media posts.
I used to sometimes lie in bed late, because I didn't see anything worth getting out of bed for. I felt so ashamed and unhappy and couldn't see the point in getting up. I did eventually, of course, and got on with my day but I was SO unhappy.
Today I woke up at 5 am, had a cup of tea, watched the sun rise and then washed, dressed and prepared for a busy working day.
Being sober, even miserably sober, beats any "so called" pleasure of drinking, hands down. No contest.
Day 20 today :)
Hi Sarah
ReplyDeleteI came to your blog from the comment you made on Belles about the treats for Good. I've just read all your posts and hope you are well, you sounded so on top of things. I got the baby jumpstart but haven't made a pledge, still drinking I'm afraid but just wanted to let you know someone out there has read your words, recognised similar traits and hopes you're in a good place. Hugs A
Hi Anon
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting - my first comment on here :) I am slowly updating this blog but have been away working recently. Still here and still sober and now on Day 65 :) Hope you are ok. I think we all recognise we are similar :) Hugs Sarah x