Two weeks sobriety

This is the longest length of sobriety I've managed to put together since I first lapsed earlier this year :)

I feel so much happier. I've upped my levels of self care, I now reward myself multiple times daily for being sober (I've reframed a lot of things I do anyway, so they have become sober rewards ;) ) and it does seem to be making a difference. I am also taking some herbal anti anxiety medication, which is helping quite a not. Sleep is beginning to improve in quality if not quantity.

I still can't change the shit storm of stuff all around me (unless I abandon my home, family and work) but I can change the way I react to it.
Onwards and upwards!

A week of sobriety

Hurrah! A whole week of sobriety done!

I've had so many lapses recently, started Day 1, got to Day 2 or 3 or maybe even Day 4, then lapsed again.

The last few months have been really really horrible and I have been self medicating with wine. Not much. Not often. But still.

 I've been reverting back to my old patterns of behaviour and tbh it scared the shit out of me how easily I could have just slid into drinking a lot.

The desire was still there, even if I didn't act on it.

MUCH quieter in my head today :)

Starting over

Its been a mixed and somewhat disappointing month since I last posted.

As you've probably already guessed I've not been sober. Not drunk,  but not sober.

I've "only" had a glass or two, rather than a bottle, which is progress of a sort, but I keep getting to Day 3 or 5 then thinking "fuck it " and having one drink.

I don't want to even drink that little. It makes me feel ill and sad. I don't want to feel like that any more.

So. Reflecting on how I can add to my sober tools and what I can do differently this time.