Lulls and emptiness

A lull at  the moment , before the storm ( of work).  I used to drink to fill a lull. I used to drink to fill the emptiness inside me. Not any more.

This week I am so busy at the moment there are no lulls. When there are some I intend to view them as an experience of sober living and embrace whatever feeling I feel, and respond as needed probably with more sober treats ;) I need to experience life as it really is without modifying my reactions by using alcohol to numb my emotions.

Tomorrow is the start of a big weekend work event. A bit nervous that it will go well, that lots of people will come, that the weather stays dry.

Watching out for wine bitch to suggest a drink would help ... Fuck you wine bitch go away I'm not biting.

Day 9 - back to work

A slightly better night sleep last night and awake at 7 am. Did some sober reading and listened to various sober podcasts. I find doing this sets me up for the day, to be sober all day.

My skin looks so much better, clearer and more even. I feel calm, mentally sharper and a lot less anxious.

I am finding my days are much more productive now - I am back at work and coming up to a very busy phase with lots of workshops and seminars to run - I can't avoid doing these ( nor do I want to as I love my work)   but I do wish I had a bit less scheduled! I need to avoid overwhelm as much as I can.

Now finished the daily lessons from Belle and have moved onto a sober podcast each day accompanied by "homework" - today I had to see if I could let some one help me with something - a simple request but one I find very hard to do! Someone offered to carry my bags today and I accepted with thanks and a smile.

Sober treats today some new Rose shower gel and a sit by a river listening to a robin sing.