A Dry January

Hurrah!

I feel so good. I really thought this last month would be very hard indeed, because of the sheer amount I'd been drinking in the last year or so, and I was fully prepared to feel really, really dreadful. 

I took care to taper off the alcohol over the last few days, so I didn't go to zero overnight. I took a big dose of B Vitamins every day, plus a multivitamin and mineral supplement. I also took Milk Thistle every day, to help my poor abused liver to recover. I think doing all this must have helped. 

The first few days I felt like I had the 'flu, but then I began to gradually feel so much better.

I honestly didn't have cravings, I think I'd become so fed up with how bad I felt both physically and mentally, that it was a relief to actually just stop constantly thinking about alcohol. 

I wasn't doing that any more, I wasn't drinking any more, and that was that. It took away the worry and the mental anguish and shame and guilt about how much to have, was there enough, had I replaced the bottle I'd drunk, alone, would there be enough until our next shopping trip (enough? There was NEVER enough, for me)

All gone. It is very peaceful inside my head. 

And the sleep! Omg, my sleep! I still don't have wonderful sleep, but it is so much better now.

Mentally, I feel less anxious and much calmer. Physically I've lost a few pounds and look less bloated, and my skin and nails are fabulous. 

 But the best thing is the peace I feel, inside. 

One Month :)

Yes a whole month has  passed and it's all so very different from the last times I stopped drinking. I know now that in the past sober times I was just "not drinking", rather than having stopped drinking.

Even though I did it for a long time, I was still the same me, still with all the baggage and depression and self loathing and feeling broken and worthless, just without the alcohol as well.

This time, having worked over the last month (with help)  on how I feel and on changing how I  think about myself,  I actually feel so much happier already! Some of this builds on previous work I did when sober (but never quite believed was true) but mostly it's down to Belle. Her voice in my ear, her emails, reading her blog (all of it, in order ) and listening to sober podcasts.

It's not just about stopping drinking, in my opinion.  Although that's good!  But, unless we work on the underlying issues which made us want to drown our brains in alcohol and numb out our lives in the first place, there will be a much higher risk of lapsing back into drinking when something stressful happens.

We  have to replace the poor habit with a good one (bath, meditation, fizzy water and lemon juice, cuddle a cat, buy a book etc). We have to learn good coping mechanisms to replace the maladaptive ones.


I had a dreadful weekend just gone. Really very stressful and unpleasant. My reaction was to seek comfort in a bath, meditation, nice chocolate and a cuddle with my DH. It honestly did not occur to me to drink. I was in a shop and could have bought some wine, a thought which actually only occurred to me as I drove home and then only in a "oh, yes I could have" sort of way, not a craving way. Huge progress in reshaping my neural pathways. Early days but even so, it really is progress for me.


Day 31 and I have a new necklace as my sober treat for a month :) A feather to remind me I am now flying, free of alcohol 😀