Cravings and other thoughts

Really struggling here.

Have had cravings and thoughts about drinking since a day out on Sat. Spent a lot of time talking to a good friend about addictions generally and afterwards realized I found it triggery.

Still going through a very stressful time at home. Tonight had terrible craving for cider. None in house so no idea why! Did a lot of distracting myself and used several sober treats and eventually went for a long soak in  the bath then gave myself a manicure and pedicure. Nothing like wet nail varnish and a face pack to immobilize me :)

Feel overwhelmed by work stuff as well, under current family circumstances I just feel there is too much work for me to cope with. But I have to work, I am the person responsible for everything so there is no choice.

Day 85 done (if I don't count the lapse, do I? Don't I?) but despite the number of days  passed I have been re listening to the first week's worth of lessons from Belle as Wolfie is shouting very loudly in my head that drinking two bottles of wine would be a fantastic idea. Fuck you Wolfie I'm not going to listen!

I recognise (before anyone comments) that lapsing and drinking a few days ago has set all this off, again.

Feeling sad probably all the stress of all the ongoing shite and some PAWS thrown in. Tomorrow is another day, thank goodness.